Thursday, August 12, 2010

Fallen... Gaurdian Angel


Michael watched praying Angela would change her mind, he knew her thoughts, she felt this was the end. She didn’t want to continue to live, if she jumped …. She would get her wish. Michael was not allowed to interfere; he was only her assigned guardian. Honestly he felt the non interference was a bad rule. How do you change someone’s life if you can not appear before them?
Yeah not many people could handle knowing they existed, but those who felt their presence; surely they could accept and at least listen. There was no one here to convince Angela not to do this. Her situation was unique, her loved ones taken away, she felt so alone. Her faith had been shaken, her heart broken, her loss too great. Michael heard her prayers nightly to be taken in her sleep to be with her family. That was why he had been assigned. All his attempts at faith renewal, self love, and soul saving had failed. If Angela jumped from this bridge as she planned, her life would be over, and Michael would have failed in his task to guide her back.
“I have no reason to live….Why didn’t I die too in the accident? What cruel joke is this to live without a family? What kind of God takes a person’s family like that?” Kevin was going to be a doctor….he just got accepted to college. Daddy made a difference everyday….he loved the children he helped. Mom was her best friend, she hung out went shopping, Angela could tell her anything.
“Talk to your friends… they care Angela….don’t do this,” Michael whispered into her ear standing inches from her on the same steel joist high above the swirling black waters below.
Angela looked around….Did someone say something? Was someone else with her here? Mom? Are you here with me…..let me know you’re here I can’t see you…..I miss you. Angela’s thoughts were pure emotions, a jumble of feelings as Michael actually wiped a tear reading her thoughts. Her pain was intense; he had never felt this degree of loneliness before. God, how can I help her? She has turned away, but her Soul is so pure. Michael was also allowing his emotions to rule his thoughts. His hand reached out taking Angela’s in his, Oh how I wish you could feel me, see me, you would believe then I know you would. I’m not allowed to let you see me. “Angela, please don’t do this… believe your heart can be full of love again… It is not your time, your life has just begun child. I’m here with you, I’ll stay with you as long as you need me, you can believe in me,” Michael tried again his whispers echoing upon the blowing wind, he knew she heard him….But would she listen?
Angela’s mind was a see saw right now….her anguished heart and despair ruling her reason. Angela truly believed if she ended her life, she would be reunited with her family. That wasn’t true…..her family died not of their own hand. Angela would be judged and condemned she would still not know the love she searched for, or feel the contentment she once knew when her family was alive. Michael could not allow that to happen, and he wouldn’t. Angela was simply confused, her loss too great for her to deal with at her tender age. Michael had died young as well; he understood her mind, and her heart.
“Who is here? Where are you….I can hear you….why are you here, leave me alone,” Angela cried answering Michael’s plead. “I can’t live like this…I have no one….no one who really understands me.”
Michael felt her despair taking charge, pushing her to boldness coaxing her to act. Michael was out of time, as he searched the surrounding area for anyone who might help, there was no one. Looking down Michael witnessed the others, the Death Angels….waiting patiently even joking, this isn’t a joke…her soul is pure…she deserves to live. Her mind is simply confused.
“I’m your heart Angela…listen to me, don’t do this you deserve to live, it will be easier I promise….just believe in yourself… please do not do this,” Michael was still holding Angela’s hand, wishing he could feel her warmth, she was a beautiful girl this was not right, Didn’t anyone she knew care?
“My heart? Mom….Mom I have to be with you again….don’t you see this is the only way?” Angela moved to the outside of the joist her arms gripping the icy cold steel. Her right foot slipped on the slick beam, and Angela pulled it back quickly, her heart racing as her grip tightened, Michael could feel her fright.
God, she doesn’t really want to do this… she’s frightened now. Let me help her … allow me to guide her back to this side. Just this once… let me help.
Michael hovered beside Angela, his magnificent gleaming white wings gently fluttering, creating a gentle breeze engulfing Angela as she struggled with her thoughts. “Mom….help me….I need you right now,” Angela shouted a last desperate plea, but as with all her prayers Angela felt they were left unanswered.
“She can’t be with you Angela… please hold on, don’t let go, I will help you, come back to the other side, come back to me and choose life Angela.”
“Who are you? Am I crazy… am I imagining you? You are not my Mom,” Angela shook her head confused; she had been hearing this calming voice for awhile now. She didn’t recognize the voice; it wasn’t Daddy’s or Kevin.
“I can not show you my form, I can only assure you that I will not leave you, I will be here for you I know your pain. I can help if you trust me,” Michael answered Angela, it was odd she actually seemed to hear his words; it was never like this before. He’d had many successful assignments and none of them attached themselves so personally. Her attachment made the rules even harder to accept. If I could show her, she would believe I know it. She already hears me.
“No…no one cares….I lost everyone I loved in that crash. Everyone says it will get easier…it doesn’t…whomever you are, get out of my head, GO AWAY!” Angela shouted relinquishing one hand as she rubbed the free hand over her face, agonizing with her decision now. She was back on that emotional see saw….and the Death Angels were hovering over the water waiting anxiously, time was running out, Michael was down to his last chance.
Agonizing with him self….Angela’s faith was fading fast, and her heart filling with fear, Michael didn’t know what to do or say to help Angela.
“Angela, I’m a Guardian Angel, I’m here to help you. I can’t interfere; I can’t show myself to you, you have to believe you have to choose to live.”
“Some guardian if you can’t show yourself….if you’re an Angel do you have wings?” Angela allowed herself to entertain this crazy manifestation in her mind, answering him.
“Angela, I assure you I am very real… and I care deeply. I’m here for you…you must believe that. I’ll stay with you as long as you need me,” Michael could tell Angela was uncertain, not sure she believed in his existence.
“Yeah right if you are real… where was my parent’s Guardian Angels? What about my brother…he was going to be a doctor. Where was his Angel? Why do I get one and they didn’t?” Angela shifted her weight her hand was getting tired gripping the cold steel.
“I am assigned Angela… to a lost soul, yours. I can not answer your questions I only know your family is safe and happy; they want the same for you. They didn’t choose to die, they were taken. You, need to continue to live, your life isn’t finished you have so much ahead of you.”
“I don’t believe you. There is no such things as Angels…you are just a voice in my head. GO AWAY…I need to do this,” Angela settled back, extending her arms so that only her fingertips were holding her body weight. Her toes teetering on the edge of the steel frame, the swirling waters appeared to be calling her name, splashing below her.
Michael had a choice to make….if he wanted to save Angela he felt he must show himself to her. He would surely be reprimanded, but this was his only shot. Concentrating fully his body took form, his wings spread wide as he appeared brilliantly before Angela.
Angela’s eyes widened as she witnessed a glowing winged being before her, he’s magnificently beautiful, a hushed perfection, and his wings so brilliantly white. It was as if he was pure light, illuminating the night making it bright as day in a moment. “Oh my God… you are truly an Angel…you’re so beautiful. Why Me? Why show yourself to me, I’m not special?” Angela’s eyes flooded with sudden tears overwhelmed by the sight before her. Angela knew she was witnessing something no one else had ever seen, and she was in awe.
“You have to believe, you have so much to live for, this was the only way I could convince you. Don’t do this…come back to the other side please.” Michael held out his hand to Angela and as she reached to take it, she forgot to hold on, and her feet slipped. Her hand only touched Michael’s for a brief moment, her warmth sent shivers throughout his body. Then she fell, her heart pounding with fright, her mind filled with regret, Angela didn’t want to die, she simply slipped.
Michael read her thoughts, in a second she would be in the arms of Death….Michael didn’t think he instinctively reacted, flying down he scooped Angela from her watery grave just in time. The Death Angels murmured and mumbled their discontent. Michael was not to interfere; it was not within his power to choose for her.
“You were not to interfere….you will pay for your insolence, Guardian,” Arias, one of the Death Angels shouted at Michael as they dispersed.
“She changed her mind, I will stand by my choice,” Michael replied watching as they disappeared.
Michael safely deposited Angela on the bank, backing away from her, the warmth of her body enticing him. Michael looked into her beautiful Blue eyes they were the shade of a summer sky. Never before had he witnessed such beauty, Michael’s own heart fluttered slightly, was this love, Michael had never known this feeling while he lived. Michael looked away suddenly uncertain in his actions, he had disobeyed God for Angela’s life, what consequence would I face? Surely Arias would lodge a complaint.
Angela stood in complete shock, she knew what had happened, and she knew it was real. She was just saved by an Angel…a beautiful Guardian Angel, had Mother sent him?
“Perhaps she did say a prayer, which brought me to you Angela,” Michael answered the question not answered, as he read her mind.
“You can read my mind, you know how I feel…you….knew I changed my mind, and just slipped….that’s why you….Oh my God…you interfered didn’t you? What will happen to you? What’s your name….I’m so sorry,” Angela suddenly realized the consequences of Michael’s actions, he broke Heaven’s rules to save her.
“Michael… and do not concern yourself Angela… whatever happens, it was worth it. Yes I know you changed your mind. What kind of Guardian would I be if I didn’t safe guard your life, once you decided to live it. You would not have gone to be with your family if you had jumped. Death Angels were waiting for you… you would have been judged. Angela, I know you loved your family, and they loved you. It’s hard to believe, it’s hard to continue on with your life alone. You have to believe in a higher path, know that you are not truly ever alone. I’m here, and if I am removed… another will take my place. Angela you do not walk alone, just have faith.” Michael smiled warmly, and then actually reached in and kissed Angela on her cheek, such soft skin, and innocent beauty. Michael was drawn to Angela, as if she were an intoxicating drug he could not refuse.
“You are Beautiful….I promise I’ll believe,” Angela smiled touching her face where Michael’s lips caressed her cheek.
Just then a loud crack of thunder was heard in the sky above them, it jarred Michael’s thoughts, and he released his gaze from Angela, and moved away. He didn’t walk, but rather glided…Michael’s wings carrying him on the air. His entire being glowed, a brilliant light shining around him. Angela had never witnessed such magnificence; Michael simply exuded grace and beauty, a pure essence of love. “What’s happening?” Angela asked concerned. Michael shook his head, He didn’t know, but smiled reassuringly at Angela.
“Do not fear… you are safe Angela… remember to have faith,” Michael spoke to her without his lips moving. Angela felt his presence in her heart and her mind. Angela smiled and nodded watching as the sky swirled, clouds suddenly parting. As the dark sky of night opened and a stream of brilliant light beamed down engulfing Michael in its luminescent rays.
“Michael…” Angela called as she watched Michael slowly ascending toward the clouds. He appeared to be sad, the look on his face one of remorse, Did I cause this to happen?
Instantly Angela heard Michael’s reassuring voice in her mind once more, and she listened and believed his words. “No, Angela you didn’t cause this, I choose this, no worries innocent one, and you have not caused me harm. Our father does not hurt his chosen, I must go now… believe Angela, always believe.”
Another roll of thunder sounded, and then the clouds along with Michael vanished. The night sky returned with all the stars, Angela was alone on the bank beside the river into which she had nearly jumped moments ago. Did this really happen? Michael saved me, why? He broke the rules to save me, so I would believe.
“Michael I believe, I was wrong, my family would want me to live. Please forgive my weakness, God … please do not punish Michael, I gave him no choice. I did change my mind, I didn’t want to die, and he made me realize how precious life is. Please let him come back to me, so I can tell him thank you, please.” Angela spoke to God and Michael, knowing in her heart they heard her, and from that moment on she would always believe.

2 comments:

  1. I loved your short story about Angela wanting to die and how her Guardian Angel Michael saved her life knowing that it was against the rules. Sometimes love wins over everything and Michael did just what he knew he had to do. He had to save Angela from taking her life.
    This is one of the most beautiful, heart wrenching and loving short stories that I have ever read. You are quite a lovely writer my Friend. Thank you for sharing your story. I would like to welcome you to my blogspot at: http://tamara-lesley.blogspot.com and lets become friends Linda. Your background is simply lovely. I will be back to read more of what you have written, have a wonderful and blessed day.
    Your New Friend,
    Tamm
    Tamara Lesley

    ReplyDelete
  2. Loved the read, thank you for this beautiful story. I certainly will give hope to everybody who does need that! <3 Nan

    ReplyDelete